Cedar Street Memories part 1

This isn't my story. Technically, I wasn't even there when it all went down. But, I was asleep on the couch in my old apartment that is right next door to where this story took place. So, I was at least nearby, right? Doesn't really matter because I'm going to tell you anyway. It's just too funny to keep to myself.

In the summer of 1998, I visited my old roommate in Kalamazoo, MI for the weekend at our old apartment. It was a bit of a crap hole, but it was a really fun place to live (more Cedar Street memories later as I've been in a remembering kind of mood lately) and I had the bestest roommate, Jeremy, and two amazing next door neighbors, Shana and Jessie.

During this summer, Nichole was subletting for Jessie and Chris had taken over my half of the lease. Anyways....I was asleep on the couch on Saturday morning, around 7:30, when Jeremy gently woke me up and told me he was headed over to help Nichole with a problem she'd had. I sort of noticed he had a mop, but in my sleepy state, it didn't seem too strange. I would later hear the entire story in all its glorious detail, but not for a couple more hours.

Nichole was rudely awoken that morning by the sound of a horrible crash outside her bedroom door that seemed to come from the kitchen. She jumped out of bed, rushed to the door and flung it open to reveal that the ceiling was now on the floor. Water was everywhere and continued to pour from the hole in the ceiling. The hole revealed glimpses of the apartment above. Nichole called Jeremy for help and then called the landlord for a plumber.

It appeared that a water pipe had burst in between the ground and top floors right over Shana and Nichole's kitchen. The mess was vast and the clean up would be arduous (I've always wanted to use that word, I'm so proud of me). And poor, poor Nichole. She was just subletting and the clean up duties fell to her as Shana was out of town that weekend.

After the plumber had arrived and Jeremy and Nichole did what they could, the two non-plumbers stepped outside for some fresh air and to give the plumber some room. They'd been outside for a few minutes when the plumber came to join them carrying a pretty annoyed cat. He handed the cat to Nichole and said, "Here's your cat." Nichole replied, confused, and holding the cat, "But, we don't have a cat."

But the upstairs neighbors did.

Speak up, I'm kinda stupid

Everyday I mishear something. Not misunderstand, mishear. It's gotten to the point that when people inquire, "What do you think I said?" it's asked with some glee because they know it's gonna be a good one. And sometimes, it is. I'm not sure why this happens to me. Is it because I'm not really paying attention? Because I probably have the beginnings of an ear infection? Or is it because I hear what I want to hear, and sometimes I want to hear the bizarre?

Here is the most classic example of one of my mishearings. In 1997, I was asked by a guy I liked, "If I were to pass you a note in theatre history that asked if you'd go out with me, would you check Yes, No, or Maybe?" I replied, "I guess I'd choose Monkey?" Because that is what I heard him say. I heard him ask me if I'd choose "Yes, No, or Monkey". IN MY DEFENSE, I was in a lift, about 20 feet in the air attempting to repair a lighting instrument that wasn't behaving properly. But why, oh why, oh why would I have thought Monkey would have ever been an option? (By the way, we did eventually go and get some coffee. It wasn't a love match, but I remember having a nice time.)

The result of my mishearing was a lot of laughter from those present at the time and a story that I still hear from time to time. Or I hear someone just randomly tell me, "I'd choose Monkey." And it makes me laugh.

Do other people do this, too? Please share your best example of mishearing and you'd better make it funny! I'm in a bleh mood and need some cheering.